Tiger Woods ‘R Us

I’ve been wondering why the Tiger Woods thing is such a big deal in the media.  Why do people care about Tiger’s infidelities?  After all, it seems to me that infidelity is treated as no big deal in this country.  Men cheat every day, get caught, get divorced, leave their kids, drag their kids into the home of the other woman and truly no one gives a damn, including the courts.    Adultery isn’t even a cause for divorce in 48 states (still is in New York—bless my state).   So why the big fuss?

I read the thread on the ABC news site about the story and almost 100% of the comments said it was a private matter, no big deal, leave the guy alone. My favorite comment was by a woman who caught her husband cheating and took a golf club to his Lexus.  She still remembers how much fun that was.   Some commenters speculated he would go off his game, lose his sponsors, and wind up leaving the golf world in disgrace, but the majority couldn’t understand why the media was making such a fuss about mere cheating.

No one mentioned his children, who I had to Google to find out he actually had.  He has two children, babies, who luckily aren’t old enough to be affected by this scandal—NOW.  But they sure will be in the future.  Those kids will be the victims of this scandal if it ends in divorce—or even if it doesn’t, because they will be old enough to read someday.   I find it really amazing that Tiger’s children were totally ignored by the media during this scandal.

If there are just two adults involved, married or not, I agree that cheating should be a private affair.  Of course cheating hurts no matter what, marriage vows shouldn’t be violated, but maybe your marriage should end, you should move on.   Cheating can also be a wake-up call for your marriage—time to reevaluate what’s going on between the two of you and try to establish a different relationship—an honest one.

When there are children involved cheating is another level of offense—against those children as well as your spouse.   Children who have to face a parent’s infidelity are going to be devastated, if not now, then later, and that is not right.   I wonder if Tiger ever thought of his kids when he was running after women, if he considered that he might lose them.  I wonder if he cared if he’d lose them.  I think he probably was in denial like most cheating parents in a time when infidelity is considered trivial.

My husband is probably typical.   Our daughter was four when he left for another woman.   I said, “How can you leave her.”   He said, “I’m not leaving her, she’ll see me all the time, I’m just moving.”  Huh???    She was devastated but he never acknowledged the damage he did, not then, not now.     Tiger seems to be remorseful at least.   If he’s actually sincere about that I have to commend him for it. Too many men blame their wives for their own infidelity—somehow it becomes her fault because she wasn’t a good enough wife.   Remorse is a good first step when it comes to dealing with infidelity.   Maybe Tiger can be a role model in that area as well as golf.